3. A Butcher, a Baker and a Candlestick Maker

 Disclaimer: This is a purely ficticious story based around a game of Football Manager 2023 and is not about the real Morley Town FC. This story is not based on real events, just my own imagination through a laptop screen. Enjoy! 

It was mid-August and Glen Road was bathed in a golden evening sunlight. As I left the ground for the day I decided to take a walk up to Topcliffe Farm on the public footpath which leads up from the side of a nearby road. The view at the top of the hill where Topcliffe Farm sits is amazing. You get a true perspective of the geography of the area. Morley is famously built on seven hills and from this birds eye view perspective you can see the whole town laid out in front of you below. On the Morley skyline you can see the clock tower of the Town Hall and to the right of it the tower of the now derelict St Mary's in the Wood church. There were also some old mill chimneys which could still be seen, long since disused. Until 1974 Morley was a seperate town from Leeds, with all the administration and courts run from its town hall. It had its own independent spirit from the big city which lay to the right, although these days the physical gap between Morley and Leeds has diminished with the building of housing and retail developments.

As you walk along the path, the City of Leeds skyline comes into view with all its "skyscrapers" and some of the tallest buildings in Yorkshire are on view. You can see right across the city to Cookridge on the other side añd plenty in between, including Headingley Cricket Stadium, Leeds University and of course, in the foreground, Elland Road. 

Morley with Leeds beyond.

As I took in this marvellous view I wondered how many out of contract footballers were out there and whether they would come to Morley and play for free.. for the love of playing.. The first four trialists, Claxton, Higginson, Lee and Blakey had all fecked off to higher ranked clubs who would pay them a small part time wage to play. We couldn't do that.. We couldn't pay anybody.. 

Another tactic was to try and recruit some players from the reserve teams of local higher ranked clubs, who may be on non-contract. Ossett United were just down t'road and also Wakefield. Then there was Farsley Celtic up the ring road who may have someone who hasn't quite made it at Conference North Level, which seemed like a different planet to the Yorkshire Amateur League.

There must be someone, anyone to improve this team...

Then the next day.....

First Signing - John Cyrus (DC)

After a million trialists have come, gone and signed for other clubs, defender, John Cyrus finally signed an amateur contract with Morley Town. He has had previous with Frickley, Shaw Lane and Altrincham. Apparently his Mrs is from the area and wants to move back. He wants to get away from the missus to play football.. A sweet deal all round then,,,

Like the 52 bus to town, two come at once.. Step forward Italian, Josh Agbozo, a defensive midfielder we badly need. His dad owns an Italian restaurant in Leeds and he is a waiter when he doesn't play football 

Josh Agbozo (DMC/MC)

Make that a hat-trick of signings – Sanchez Payne a pacy striker who has all the attributes to do well at this level. Previous clubs include Goole, Pickering and Albion Sports after starting his career on Leeds United’s books.

Friendly 5 Cavaliers v Morley Town

We take a trip over the Pennines for this one to play Manchester Football League Division 2 outfit, the Cavaliers.. I try an ‘experimental’ 4-2-3-1 with yet more trialists and the three new signings.

Team: Reay (trial) Markey, Cyrus, Bowe (trial) Fisher, Agbozo, Forster (trial) Davies, Payne, Marie (trial) Tidsell

We dominate the opening exchanges without creating much, but then such is the pattern we concede with their first attack. Heath gets down the right and squares it for Pilch to stab home at the near post. Too easy.. We respond. Trialist Marie has a fierce shot tipped over the bar. Then after a smart four man move, young Arron Davies has a close range effort brilliantly saved. Then the same player hits the bar from inside the area and the ball falls kindly into the keeper’s arms. A goal down at half time. Into the second half and sub McAlea plays a sumptuous through ball to Sanchez Payne who is through on goal.. He unselfishly squares it to Marie who shoots tamely into the keeper’s hands.. Oh dear! Then with their only attack for a while, Forth plays an inch perfect crossfield ball to Keenan who takes it under his spell and buries it in the corner for 2-0.. For god’s sake.. Fisher gets forward from left back and feeds McAlea who rifles the ball home.. but a hair on his big toe was offside, so disallowed. Sub Valerio de Martin has looked lively and he is through on goal, but hits the outside of the post. Then in a rare moment of quality, Mario Ward picks the ball up and drives at the Cavaliers defence. He plays in De Martin who cooly dinks the ball over the keeper to halve the deficit. It is no more than we deserved. We should be winning 4 or 5 -2.. Then De Martin plays in Mario Ward, who is one on one with the keeper....and puts it wide.. That was the last kick of the game. We should have won this, but instead they are dancing in the streets of Cavaliers.. 

Final Score: Cavaliers 2-1 Morley Town

Morley Town Sign Edward Busfield (DR/WBR)

Friendly 6 Morley Town v Leeds University

The students of Leeds University have made the short trip through the Armley gyratory to take on our boys. I of course gave them free beer tokens to a bar in Morley Bottoms for afterwards as an incentive. Amazingly though they are actually in the league above us, so maybe they will not be pushovers. Meanwhile I’ve been busy trying to recruit yet more talent to come to Glen Road, including 42-year old former Darlington hotshot, Jeff Smith. Looking at his stats he’s still got it though, so lets see how he gets on.

Team: Dewberry (trial) Busfield, Cyrus, Milne (trial)  Winn (trial) Agzboo, Davies, Andrew, Payne, Marie (trial) Smith (trial)      

The visitors enjoy a spell of early possession but it comes to nothing. Payne has an effort deflected over, while Arron Davies hammers a free kick against the crossbar. Then the best move of the game sees Winn feed Jeff Smith who squares for Davies, but his shot is blocked by the keeper.

Then the unthinkable happens. Hairyes (yes that’ his name hammers the ball home from the edge of the area. 1-0 to the flippin students..

 I give them a dressing down at half time, even the trialists. That was simply not good enough. They seem motivated and start the second half well, with sub Mario Ward missing a golden chance to equalise. Then we do at last. Smith feeds Payne who turns it into the path of the onrushing Ward who unselfishly squares to Davies to belt the ball into the roof of the net for one each!

We look in control and most likely to score, but then Leverett launches a missile over our defence and Heugh runs onto it and buries it in the corner... I look on in disbelief. 2-1 to the students.. We re-assert control. A corner is swung in by Davies to the far post where Cyrus leaps highest to nod in an equaliser. 2-2. Then disaster. Winfarrah stumbles almost Gerrard like and Stafford nicks the ball and blasts the ball home for 3-2. For god’s sake man! Anyway all things considered we put up a good fight against a team above us in the pyramìd. The students enjoyed their time at Morley Bottoms, a new bar area down the hill from the town hall and we drowned our sorrows with them. Nothing like a bit of team bonding, although there is much more rebuilding to be done before the season actually starts.

Majed Alasttal (DL)

I have snapped up this left back after being released by Farsley Celtic. A real coup for us I think.

Joe Lamplough (DLC/MC)

I’ve signed this experienced utility man who has been around the block in Yorkshire non-league football circles, enjoying spells over on the coast at Bridlington and Scarborough Athletic, after beginning his career at Hull City.

Jeff Smith (ML/AML)

I am not normally in the business of signing 42 year old players whatever level I manage at, but this was an exception. He’s stlll got more than enough quality for this league and will be a useful impact player off the bench potentially. 

Louis Rowe (ST)

A magnificent capture for the club, this pacy Irish striker will make all the difference to our forward line. He started his career at Oakwell, but failed to make the grade at Barnsley, before dropping down the leagues, through Workington and others to end up as Morley's latest recruit. When he is not playing football he works at a well known pastry shop in the centre of Morley.  

David Reay (GK)

This 29-year old finally provides us with a decent player between the sticks. He has had spells at Worksop, Stocksbridge and Buxton in his non-league career so far. When he is not playing football, Reay is a butcher at Leeds Market.

Friendly 7: Farsley Celtic Juniors v Morley Town

Despite their name, this is not a kids team and they play in the Supreme Division, the level above us, so they will be no pushovers. I line up in an experimental 4-3-3 in a bid to try and stop the rot of friendly defeats. Hopefully they’ll play more like S Club Juniors..

Team: Dewberry (trial) Busfield, Lamplough, Milne (trial) Alasttal, Law (trial) Agbozo, Davies, Ward, De Martin, Payne

It’s even Steven, but we actually take the lead. Law feeds Sanchez Payne down the right channel and his low cross is turned home by De Martin. As is always the way though as soon as we score they respond, Cian Jones sliding home... grrr! Allattsal looks like a good signing already and he gets forward down the left. He feeds Mario Ward inside who swivels and finds a great cross for Sanchez Payne at the back post who volleys home (almost) Van Basten-like from the angle, but from much closer in than the great Dutchman. Into the second half and guess what we get a third goal! Busfield does well to intercept a crossfield pass and he feeds the impressive De Martin, whose slide rule pass plays in sub Evan O’Donnell, who cooly rolls the ball past the keeper into the corner of the net. 3-1. Then we hit the suicide button. They  get the ball on the right. The ball loops up into the air awkwardly, the keeper gets underneath it and it ends up at the feet of Jones whose Granny could have tapped in for the easiest goal of his career. Then Muir turned home another cross from the right to equalise. I take some heart from this performance and had I not done the full Ranieri style tinkerman routine in the last 20 minutes, we would have won this. We looked good in a 4-3-3 as well and there were positives to take from this game, but still disappointed not to win.

Final Score: Farsley Celtic Juniors 3-3 Morley Town

Jones 20, 83                                De Martin 12

Muir 88                               Payne 44               

                                                                             O’Donnell 53

 

Friendly 8 – Morley Town v Beverley Town Reserves

Our friends from the Humber Premier League Division 1 make the trip from East Yorkshire to take on our boys in our final friendly. Hopefully a win will give us the boost we need before the season gets underway. The squad is looking more settled now with less trialists and more permanent ones, but there is still work to be done in improving the squad.

Team: Reay, Busfield, Cyrus, Lamplough, Allasttal, Hudson, Agbozo, Davies, Payne, Rowe, De Martin

The visitors have the better of the opening exchanges, but it is us who draw first blood. Alattsall runs forward and releases De Martin down the left channel. He checks back inside to find Agbozo on the edge of the area. The Italian waiter let’s fly and it fizzes into the top corner. Brilliant goal! We take control of the game and then double our lead. The impressive Allasttal skips past his man on the left and floats in a high cross which the keeper cannot deal with as he flaps at it. The ball lands at the feet of Sanchez Payne who taps the ball into an open goal. Suddenly we are knocking the ball about with the confidence of a skilled La Liga side. Busfield’s ball into the channel is seized upon by Payne, who cooly half volleys into the corner for 3-0. Young DeMartin is having a stormer in the left side of the front three. He checks inside before clipping a beautiful ball over the defence which only Payne can get to and he slots home for his hat-trick. New signing Louis Rowe has been quiet, but when he receives the ball from a a DeMartin knockdown, the Irishman lashes the ball at the goalkeeper, who can only half parry the ball and it trickles into the corner of the net. 5-0 Morley Town. Then, Beverley Town Reserves start to play and hit three late goals, which took the polish off what had been a fine performance and only our second win of the pre-season campaign.

Final Score Morley Town 5-3 Beverley Town Reserves

Agbozo 15                                     Blair 78

Payne 37,39,47                            Barker 81

Rowe 68                                        McNube 83

Jack Cowgill (DC)

I’ve snapped up this central defender to bolster our squad. He started off with Barnsley but has turned out for fellow West Yorkshire teams, Ossett United and Nostell Miners Wefare since. Cowgill works in a factory which makes Candlesticks... 

We have now signed a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker!!! All we need to do now is get high enough in the English pyramid to qualify for the FA Cup! I can just hear Gerald Sindstadt now.. God rest his soul... 

First Team Squad for the New Season

Goalkeepers

David Reay

Soni Moreman

Lewis Love (yth)

Defenders

Sean Markey (DR)

Edward Busfield (DR/WBR)

Joe Lamplough (DLC/MC)

John Cyrus (DC)

Jack Cowgill (DC)

Rodger Winfarrah (DC)

Trent Hartas (DRLC)

Scott Fisher (DRL)

Majed Alasttal (DL/WBL)

Midfielders

Josh Azbogo (DMC/MC)

Rob Hudson (yth) (DMC)

Barry Woods (yth) (MRL)

Scott McAlea (MR)

Jeff Smith (ML/AML)

Arron Davies (yth) (AMC)

Steve Tanner (yth) (AMC)

Sakou Tidsell (AMLC)

Faris Pamment (AML)

Forwards

Evan O’Donnell (AML/ST)

Sanchez Payne (AMR/ST)

Louis Rowe (ST)

Valerio De Martin (yth) (ST)

Mario Ward (yth) (ST)

There are other players in the U21/U18s who also may appear every now and again. 

With pre-season now over and a team full of butchers, bakers and candlestick makers, are Morley Town ready to hit the ground running in their Yorkshire Amateur League campaign? Find out how they get on next time on The Ultimate English Pyramid Game!

Read Part 4 Welcome to Yorkshire Amateur Premier League Here!